the snark handbook a reference guide to verbal sparring

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The Snark Handbook

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 9781634503853
Genre : Humor
File Size : 33. 67 MB
Format : PDF
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The Snark Handbook is back and it’s more uproarious than ever. This revised and expanded edition contains even more snide remarks, witty comebacks, and biting commentary than the bestselling first edition. With dozens of hilarious jokes, plus lists such as “Snarky Movie Descriptions,” “Money Can’t Buy You Happiness, But it Can Buy…”, and “Excuses to Get Out of a Date,” it’s easy to find the perfect bit of irreverence to fit every mood and occasion. The Snark Handbook also features hundreds of the best quotes from beloved heroes of snark: “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”-Dorothy Parker “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’m happy to make an exception”-Groucho Marx “There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best part.”-Charles Dickens “I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.”-Phyllis Diller With charming black and white illustrations to accompany the wry remarks on every page, The Snark Handbook is as fun to look at as it is to read. It’s a must-have whether you want to brush up on your snark, need a good laugh after a bad day, or are looking for the perfect gift for your favorite smartass.

The Snark Bible

Author :
ISBN : 9781632201294
Genre : Humor
File Size : 82. 9 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that’s sure to change your life—or at least induce a light chuckle. One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark. “She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork.” —Jonathan Swift “Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.” —P. G. Wodehouse “He’s a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.” —Tom Waits “They hardly make ’em like him anymore—but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.” —Hunter S. Thompson “He has a Teflon brain . . . nothing sticks” —Lily Tomlin “He has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair.” —Theodore Roosevelt Snark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that’s saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer!

The Snark Bible

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 1510717870
Genre : Humor
File Size : 85. 4 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Offer praise at the altar of snarkiness! The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that’s sure to change your life--or at least induce a light chuckle. One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark. "She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork.” --Jonathan Swift "Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.” --P.G. Wodehouse "He’s a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.” --Tom Waits "They hardly make ’em like him anymore--but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.” --Hunter S. Thompson "He has a Teflon brain. . . . Nothing sticks.” --Lily Tomlin "He has no more backbone than a chocolate �clair.” --Theodore Roosevelt Snark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that’s saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer!

The Illustrated Dictionary Of Snark

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 9781628734928
Genre : Humor
File Size : 27. 5 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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What do Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, Robert Benchley, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Feiffer, Bill Hicks, Bill Maher, Phyllis Diller, Édith Piaf, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Charles Bukowski, and countless others have in common? Not a thing, other than each was a brilliantly snarky wit and all are included in this compendium of the original snark handbooks. Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from: The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal SparringThe Snark Handbook: Insult EditionThe Snark Handbook: Sex EditionSnark! The Herald Angels SingThe Snark Handbook: Politics and Government EditionThe Snark Handbook: ClichÉs EditionThe Snark Handbook: Parenting EditionIsn’t that enough!?!?A minor literary success (beloved by both minors and miners), the snark handbooks have cemented their position in the literary world, high atop toilet seats everywhere. Now in one great big edition, this lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution.

The Snark Handbook Parenting Edition

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 9781626362444
Genre : Humor
File Size : 77. 62 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Do we dare go after the holiest of institutions, that bastion of reverence known as Motherhood and Fatherhood? Do we take a chance ticking off the entire world? After all, we're either a mother or a father or a son or a daughter. . . . Are we, indeed, on “Shaky ground?” Have we finally gotten to the one thing that we shouldn’t poke fun at? Is the sanctity of our home life the one untouchable? Nah Throughout the ages, the one constant in literature, music, film, politics, and life has been the love/hate relationship we have with our parents or kids. Whether we’ve sucked up to them to get what we want or we’ve ignored and alienated them; family is the cornerstone for the majority of headaches that we deal with on a daily basis. We love them, we hate them, we resent them, we loathe them . . . but unfortunately, no matter what, they still show up on Thanksgiving and eat the big turkey leg. With that said, what’s a better gift for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents Day—hell any day—where you can tell your “loved ones” exactly how you feel. But one word of caution. . . . Be careful. They know all your deep, dark secrets.

The Snark Handbook Sex Edition

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 9781628731019
Genre : Humor
File Size : 59. 92 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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According to NewYorker.com, “Lawrence Dorfman assembled a heroic collection. I spent an hour in a state of catharsis, reveling in the sufficiency of the insults,” in his previous homage to snarkdom (Insult Edition). Now just imagine the reviewer’s state after an hour reading the Sex Edition. Here are sharply witty personal observations, jokes, quotations, he-said-she-said snarks, and much more. A taste of what’s to come: • “I’d like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he’s working on now.”—George Carlin • “We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”—Lily Tomlin • “Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”—Oscar Wilde • A couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time. His fingers started at her neck, moved down her shoulders, past the side of her breast and so forth. Then he suddenly stopped, rolled over, and became silent. She said, “Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?” “I found the remote,” he mumbled. With the same Snark Handbook style, this latest entry in the series will titillate, amuse, and entertain.

The Snark Handbook

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 9781616087357
Genre : Humor
File Size : 26. 56 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Collects humorous quotes about politics, politicians, and the electoral process from such thinkers and talking heads as Ann Coulter, Dave Barry, and George Bernard Shaw.

Snark The Herald Angels Sing

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 9781628731163
Genre : Humor
File Size : 39. 50 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Bah! Humbug! It’s that time of year again….Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find “good cheer,” battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as…dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year’s; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. Enjoy such rotten sugar plums as: • “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”—Victor Borge • “If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it...No awkward explanations of virgin birth...No Irving Berlin songs.”—Among the Top Ten Reasons to Love Hanukkah • “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”—Phyllis Diller Snark, the Herald Angels Sing is destined to be a holiday classic.

The Snark Handbook Insult Edition

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 9781628731866
Genre : Humor
File Size : 70. 32 MB
Format : PDF
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Author Lawrence Dorfman claims: “I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore.” In this latest incarnation of his bestselling series, Dorfman is in delicious form, dishing it out without any real consequences. The sharp-witted buyer (and that’s you, my friend) may be wondering right about now: “Hey, how is this book any different from the first? That was full of insults, too.” Yes, but these insults are different, and the author’s retorts and taunts are so much more vitriolic than in the previous book. Readers will find more material to actually use in day-to-day life, including streamlined instructions on when and how to mock your peers; how to use retorts with your spouse and children; and how our late, great ancestors used insults throughout history. This is not a mere collection of quotations. Dorfman speaks directly to his audience, serving as teacher, ringleader, and historian. After all, not all insults are snarky, and not all snark is insulting. It takes a certain genius to define and navigate the fine line between idiotic commentary and intelligent snark, a genius that has been isolated and packaged with aplomb in the new Snark Handbook: Insult Edition.

The Snark Handbook Politics And Government Edition

Author : Lawrence Dorfman
ISBN : 9781620873922
Genre : Humor
File Size : 75. 28 MB
Format : PDF
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Another political year is upon us . . . a year in which we elect another useless figurehead to piss off the masses, confuse the classes, and, above all, reward the jackasses. It will be a time of fear, angst, and anger, the perfect moment for The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition. Filled with quotes, jokes, and timeless snarks, this brave foray into the political theater, old and new, will serve as a priceless source of sanity as you navigate the asylum. In the same inimitable style as the previous bestselling Snark titles, this timely entry is guaranteed to amuse and entertain. The wit and humor of Lawrence Dorfman shines in this collection, where he highlights the ineptitude and malice that is American democracy. You’ll see first-hand the shenanigans that started with our Founding Fathers and still continue bravely on today. Hail to the Chief!

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