a fistful of rubbers the sid tillsley chronicles book two

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A Fistful Of Rubbers

Author : M. J. Jackman
ISBN : 0990565548
Genre : Humor
File Size : 23. 70 MB
Format : PDF
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Sid Tillsley is back! Sid Tillsley, forty-six, is an alcoholic from Middlesbrough. He's sexist, homophobic, overweight, extremely lazy, and a dogger. However, "two" things set him apart from the rest of his fellow Northerners. Sid Tillsley can kill vampires with a single punch. AND he's no longer claiming benefits. In the eyes of everyone apart from the taxman, Sid Tillsley is officially a vampire hunter. The old hunter, Reece Chambers, is using Sid to strike fear into the heart of the vampire nation, and Sid is doing so with gusto-for he gets a packet of fags for every vampire he knocks out. But all is not rosy in Sid's world... The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans mandated to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, has shut down his local pub in a horrific act of cruelty, separating him and his mates from their beloved Bolton Bitter. Plus, the psychotic vampire Gunnar Ivansey wants revenge. Sid hit Gunnar so hard in the nuts, he's never forgiven him. Sid's trusted friends are having a hard time too. Arthur Peasley is being nagged to death and regrets knocking up his vampire girlfriend. Brian Garforth discovers vampires are so allergic to his "special sauce" that even a visit to the clinic won't save them. And then there's Peter Rathbone, who is still a greasy, horrible, little bastard. Sid doesn't realise that he has a fight coming, one which will test him to his very limits. There's something else lurking in the shadows, or rather, the closet. A Northern man will punch anything in the face, but what terrifies him, what saturates him with carnal fear, is a direct attack on his sexuality...and the Campire draws near. ""The ultimate vampire series. Howay the lads! A definite must read!"" -Amy J. Ramsey, Ramsey's Reviews 2nd Edition - the series has been revised and rewritten as of Sept 2014.

The Great Right Hope

Author : M. J. Jackman
ISBN : 0957472692
Genre : Humor
File Size : 81. 59 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Sometimes, even the best vampires can earn themselves a good smack... Sid Tillsley, forty-six, is an alcoholic benefit fraudster from Middlesbrough. He's sexist, homophobic, overweight, extremely lazy, and a dogger. However, "one" thing sets him apart from the rest of his fellow Northerners... He can kill vampires with a single punch. Meanwhile, in Northeast England, a monster has arisen, one that doesn't subscribe to "Tits" magazine. A vampire beast stalks the Yorkshire moors, mutilating and destroying everything in its path. The vampire elders fear the Firmamentum has reappeared-a phenomenon that occurs every few millennia when a human and a vampire are born, ultimately powerful and destined to oppose each other. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans mandated to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, believe Sid to be the Bellator, the chosen one destined to fight the vampire beast. Sid finds himself the centre of human and vampire attention, but he's more concerned about drinking down the pub with his mates and trying to end his two year drought with the ladies. Besides, Sid has more important things to worry about. The Benefit Office is on to him, and if they see him fighting immortal vampire monsters from Hell, they may take away his disability benefits. ""Sid is hilarious, entertaining and, strangely enough, charming. Maybe charming is too strong a word..."" -Bitten by Books 2nd Edition - the series has been revised and rewritten as of Sept 2014.

Acracknophobi

Author : Mark Jackman
ISBN : 1905091931
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 23. 4 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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The end is near... When the most prolific and lethal vampire hunter the world has ever known cancels his subscription to "Tits," Middlesbrough locals know that something isn't right. And that's an understatement... The vampire nation is ready to launch an assault on mankind. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans formed to hide the existence of the vampire, are almost powerless to stop them. They have one hope, not a person, but a molecule: Haemo, a drug that quells the vampire's need to feed. If Haemo doesn't work and the vampires take to the streets life will never be the same again. Unfortunately, Sid Tillsley cannot be called upon, and it wasn't even the vampires who cancelled his subscription to his all-time favourite periodical. Sid has got a job, is paying taxes, has stopped smoking and drinking, and hasn't had a kebab in over a month! But why? Vampires would never be so cruel. Such devilry can only be the work of womenfolk... Join Sid and the lads from Middlesbrough in the exciting and hilarious conclusion about the reluctant vampire hunter...who only ever wanted a shag.

Histories And Fallacies

Author : Carl R. Trueman
ISBN : 143352080X
Genre : History
File Size : 51. 1 MB
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Recent years have brought about a crisis of confidence in the historical profession, leading increasing numbers of readers to ask the question: “How can I know that the stories told by a historian are reliable?” Histories and Fallacies is a primer for those seeking guidance through conceptual and methodological problems in the discipline of history. Historian Carl Trueman presents a series of classic historical problems as a way to examine what history is, what it means, and how it can be told and understood. Each chapter in Histories and Fallacies gives an account of a particular problem, examines a classic example of that problem, and then suggests a solution or approach that will bear fruit. Readers who come to understand the question of objectivity through an examination of Holocaust denial or interpretive frameworks through Marxism will not just be learning theory but will already be practicing fruitful approaches to history. Histories and Fallacies guides both readers and writers of history away from dead ends and methodological mistakes, and into a fresh confidence in the productive nature of the historical task.

Homes And Other Black Holes

Author : Dave Barry
ISBN : 9780307758828
Genre : Humor
File Size : 50. 21 MB
Format : PDF
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"Mr. Barry is the funniest man in America and we should encourage him." --The New York Times Book Review THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME--EXCEPT IN A SELLER'S MARKET At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they've never been answered before: What's the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six. Can you recommend a good mortgage? There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank's secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead. How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner's projects? Find a contractor. Their silent motto is "We Never Show Up." The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too. Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn? Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. From the Paperback edition.

Doctor Dogbody S Leg

Author : James N. Hall
ISBN : 0805058311
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 32. 93 MB
Format : PDF
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Ripping sea yarns from the creator of Mutiny on the Bounty. James Norman Hall is best known as the co-author of the classic Bounty trilogy. In his later years, his favorite work was writing the tales spun by Dr. Dogbody, a peg-legged old salt who never lets the truth get in the way of a good story. Doctor Dogbody's tales vividly recreate the Napoleonic Wars, and delight with broad comedy, rollicking naval adventure, and characters that will live on in the reader's memory.

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